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 Post subject: Re: General work rants
Unread postPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 7:48 pm 
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Location: Empire State of Mind
For three years now I have protected myself from falling victim to a major office prank. I have assiduously checked my laptop bag prior to each trip, making sure that I was only taking along my computer paraphernalia and any documents I might need. If I brought luggage to the office, I made sure I had it locked, so anyone intent on adding to or removing from my luggage would be thwarted in his or her attempts. I knew well of the prank, and I am well aware that I'm an attractive target, so I prided myself on never having suffered at the hands of the office practical jokers. Today my pride was vanquished. I arrived at work to do some tasks before heading to LaGuardia for a short flight to DC. I have to be there tomorrow, and I'll fly back Friday morning.

I didn't notice that my computer bag must have been heavier than usual, as I carried it from the office, to the car, and then to the airport. I also didn't notice that my laptop was sitting a bit higher than usual in its compartment. I certainly had no idea that TSA would find the foot-long pepperoni sausage that gets secreted into the bags of unsuspecting travellers in my bag. The TSA agent took it out of my bag, and looked at me like "What the hell?". I said I was the victim of an office prank, and he was more than welcome to keep the pepperoni if he so chose. He put it back in the computer bag instead, and I was on my way to Reagan with my cured, salty travelling companion. They must have snuck it into my computer bag, which wasn't locked, when I ran to the ladies' right before I left for the airport. I hadn't heard about the sausage in months, so I figured someone threw it out or it fell out of favour, as it does from time to time. How wrong I was.

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"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."- Victor J. Stenger


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 Post subject: Re: General work rants
Unread postPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 8:20 pm 
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^^^ I would have called the office from the airport and explained that because of enhanced security requirements, I wasn’t allowed to board the flight, and that I was headed back to the office to figure out who I was firing.

I hate pranks.

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"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to
live as one wishes to live: and unselfishness is letting other people's
lives alone, not interfering with them."
-- Oscar Wilde


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 Post subject: Re: General work rants
Unread postPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2018 8:48 pm 
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It's a pretty harmless prank, as far as pranks go, so I'd rather endure the pepperoni stick than something worse. It's actually maybe 1.5 feet, and still in the plastic wrap, so there's really no harm in finding it in your bag. Well, except for looking like a weirdo who is carrying around a Bridgford pepperoni in a computer bag, there's no harm. The TSA agent did check it because it looked "suspicious" in the bag, but he said it wasn't a liquid or gel, so I was free to take it to our nation's capital. I was a bit worried that TSA was going to think I was trying to transport an improvised weapon, as it is big enough to hit someone with, but other than the oddity of it, the TSA agent was pretty nonplussed.

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"Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself." - George Carlin

"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."- Victor J. Stenger


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 Post subject: Re: General work rants
Unread postPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:04 am 
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Nobody returns my emails. That’s my rant.


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 Post subject: Re: General work rants
Unread postPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:23 am 
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Not a rant, but work-related.

My manager has a wonderful talent for saying rude and tactless things without realizing it.

Yesterday, in an informal meeting, he called the new guy fat.

Now, the new guy *is* a bit overweight, but he’s also one of those people with the type of build, that even if he weighed 165, he’d just *look* overweight.

Anyway, we were talking about electric cars, meeting had wound up, and the new guy said something about how the new Leaf had nearly doubled the range of the old one.

“Yeah, but have you seen the seats in it? There’s no way *you’re* fitting in that,” my manager matter-of-factly replied.

“Um...what are you trying to say?”

<Uncomfortable silence all the way around >

“Well, it’s obvious you’re not the most, um, slimmest person around.”

“Are you saying I’m too fat? To get in a *car*?”

“Hey, I’d probably have a hard time, too.”

The funny part about the “probably” - new guy is about 5’ 10” and probably weighs 215lbs. My manager, Mr. Probably, is about 5’ 4” and weighs about 295. There’s no comparison in who’d have a better chance of fitting in that car!

_________________
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to
live as one wishes to live: and unselfishness is letting other people's
lives alone, not interfering with them."
-- Oscar Wilde


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 Post subject: Re: General work rants
Unread postPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:13 am 
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This one has just happened...

One of the principals lost our mini projector - it never came back from an offsite meeting. He confessed, but didn't ask me to order another. Thursday afternoon, one of the Project managers asked me where it was - turns out they need it for a presentation next week. I get asked to order another, so I make them go on Amazon and pick one. They did, and because of the timing, I had it shipped to my house. They also asked me to order a projector screen... this is where it gets silly.

The projector arrived yesterday - fine. Screen arrived today. This thing is HUGE. 87 inches long. I don't think it's going to fit in my car. Pretty sure it won't fit in anyone else's either, and they're supposed to be using it on Tuesday. Returning it to Amazon will probably be a hassle, and that item was on my personal Prime account to get it here on time (I expense it). Getting another? Probably not going to be time. At least it was cheap ($75).


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