But you're lucky now too. Your mother is no longer in your life so she can't try to arrange any marriages. Hopefully you don't have other relatives that are like that.

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"Smile, breathe, and go slowly." - Thich Nhat Hanh

True. I do have relatives who think that I should get married and pop out babies, but they have no control over my life, thankfully.

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The worst STD is pregnancy.

Interesting thread here! I have a Korean friend (she's been in the states for 10 yrs. or so) who doesn't want kids. She married an Hispanic guy, much to her parent's chagrin. Luckily, he doesn't want kids either; she is 34 he is 50. She had a very physically abusive father who would beat her when she didn't live up to his standards of perfection. She still has elements of that life-script though. She wants to go to college to study fashion design but it has to be the best school with prestige. She only wants to get As ( she is in junior college). She keeps dropping classes if she's not getting an A! She wants to be perfect and the best in her class. She still needs to work on her English, most importantly. She took the toefl test and didn't not get a high enough score for one of the schools she wants to attend. I'm really trying to help her, but I'm such a laid back American I have a hard time understanding this need for perfection! I take it that this is a very common mind-set in the Asian community?

I'd say overall yes, BUT things are changing a lot, I think. I am in school now with a Korean friend (age 37,) and I get a lot of interesting cultural insights from him as an American-born. Your friend, being 34, is old enough to still be from that old-school mindset of perfection, especially as it's forced by parents. I think things are quite a bit different now. Korea, in particular is a leader instead of a follower these days and I don't think people feel like they have to play "catch up" with the rest of the world anymore, and so it seems like there's a bit less of that perfection obsession going on. For instance, my friend tells me that a lot of Koreans are now doing things like getting divorces if their marriages don't work out (unthinkable a few years ago,) not having babies to focus on career instead (also probably unthinkable a few years ago,) etc. He said that the Korean population is shrinking now, due to the fact that people are putting off marriage and kids for so long.

I'm Chinese and living in Malaysia. My friends and relatives look at me like I have 2 heads when I tell them that I don't want to get married or have kids. Especially since I'm female. Everyone thinks it's a phase I'll get over. I don't personally know anyone else who is CF by choice. I do know a lot of friends who feel pressured to get married and have children just to please their parents. I feel bad sometimes that I'm not living out their dreams for me, but at the end of the day, it's my life, not theirs. So if you have parents who can't accept that, then they're not worthy of being called parents.

I heard contraception is illegal in Malaysia? Is this true?

The pressure to get married and have kids sucks. I'm only 19 and I have family members talking to me about finding a husband already! So I can produce children, of course!

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The worst STD is pregnancy.

No, we have access to condoms and all But people should really learn to use them more. Which reminds me of this Durex ad I saw today wishing a Happy Father's Day to those using non-Durex condoms.

sorry for reviving old thread, but daaaaamn, I am frustrated. greetings from indonesia! Chinese Indonesian science college student here. hello to all asian CFers! so much of a relief to find a bunch of people with similar background who actually think that life doesn't have to be spent 'selflessly working hard to provide for little ones'! if you were actually here, I would be so glad that I would hug you all.
I am planning to get a scholarship for post-graduate studies in any countries where permanent sterilization to single childless women is allowed. I don't care, I just want to be sterile before, if ever, I get married.



it's REALLY relieving to see someone from my own region O_o

^ Hey, fellow chinese Indonesian-er.. .

I'm also chinese descent Indonesian, now residing in Australia. Currently 30 y.o. Have been bingoed for what seems like eternity ever since I piped out about me not wanting to have offsprings. Still get bingoed about it now as my immediate family is concerned my biological clock is ticking and they have come to a horror realization that I am actually serious when I said I don't want any. kid. period.

Feel free to pm me if you'd like we'll chat.

i am korean, filipino and black! was raised by german-norwegians so i didn't really grow up in the cultures or traditions and i'm pretty mixed. most people assume i'm a pacific islander.