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Unread postPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:03 pm 
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Guest wrote:
Just had my uterus yoinked out this past weekend. I too will be 47 in a couple of weeks, and going by the images my Dr. showed me, that uterus was not ever going to yield anything human. So there wasn't any chance of me becoming a mommy (thank all that's semi-holy), but a lot of women apparently experience hysterectomy as a wake-up that, wow, babies really are off the table now--- cue Regret...

When I woke up from my hyst, the doctor came in to brief me about how it went. There'd been some back and forth as to whether they were going to be able to do my hyst laparoscopically or not. She came in to confirm that yes, they'd been able to, and what they'd found when they were in there. I think she was a little taken aback about how thrilled I was about the whole thing - I couldn't thank her enough, and knowing that the whole heavy periods/reproductive worries thing was done forever literally made it one of the best days of my life.

Regrets? I didn't want kids when I was 20. I didn't want them at 30, or at 40. Now at 50, my life is mine. No kids in college draining me dry, no kids boomeranging back home, no kids failing to launch, no drama filled phone calls at 3am, no grandkids EVER. I've watched girlfriends struggle with their adult kids and their issues, and all I can think is "screw that noise". No regrets here at all. I'm sure there are people who think that I'm selfish and hedonistic ... if living my life on my terms and doing what makes me happy makes me selfish, then I have zero problems owning that. If you only get one go-around on this rock, why would you spend a quarter of it doing something that you're at best, ambivalent about?

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Unread postPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:44 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 27, 2016 5:01 pm
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Location: England
When i was younger i was desperate for a child and we tried for a very long time but it never happened.Now that i'm older i don't regret being childfree for a moment.Infact i wish i'd realised while i spent all that time trying that i was living a perfectly good childfree life.We're able to have the nice house,do what we like when we like well not right now with a new puppy but i can focus on the puppy and not the needs of children.Plus my marriage while not perfect is better because we've just got each other.We don't have the patience for children and my husband prefers to have me all to himself. :D
Enjoy what you have right now because later on those friends who've had children might just be looking at you with envy and wishing they'd made your choice too. :)

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♥☆♥You don't need a child to complete you
because you're already complete♥☆♥


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:41 pm 
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Pikasam wrote:
Guest wrote:
If you only get one go-around on this rock, why would you spend a quarter of it doing something that you're at best, ambivalent about?


Pikasam, I really relate to this, it's exactly how I feel. I see life as being so short and seeing as much of the world as I possibly can has always been top priority. I get one shot at this, I don't have any feelings about having kids, I'm ambivalent and when you say why would you spend a quarter of it doing something that your ambivalent about, you are so right. Why wouldn't you spend that precious time doing everything you love, that gives you the most joy, whatever that may be.

I also agree that when I hear people talk about their older kids and some of the problems they have I just think they goodness I don't have that in my life, like you say the noise of it, I relish my peace, the quiet.


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Unread postPosted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:39 am 
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Actually i do have a regret in that i spent far too long desperate to have a baby when my heart and soul really wasn't in it and not realising i was already living a really good childfree life.
I thought having children was going to be the way to having a great life,i know it's not the case.
I wish i'd known that when i was younger.I wasted 20yrs in thinking you get married you have kids. :(
Been married this year for 24yrs and we're happy.The puppy is driving us crazy! :lol:

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♥☆♥You don't need a child to complete you
because you're already complete♥☆♥


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Unread postPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:01 am 
PMP


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Unread postPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 1:03 am 
Just wanted to "weigh in" on this. I am 65 years old, a widow nearly 15 years, and have never regretted not having children. Will post more, I hope, if my techno-challenged intelligence level did this right


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Unread postPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:30 am 
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Location: Bavaria
I'm nearing the end of my reproductive years, while friends around me are having babies here, there and everywhere. I do not regret my childfree status for one second. Hearing all the horror stories of pregnancy and birth, dealing with childhood illness, in-laws' expectations, lack of sleep, general mopping up of unpleasant fluids, right up to managing surly ungrateful teenagers - just glad to have missed out on the whole messy, thankless business.

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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:26 am 
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I'm 39 and my husband and I have been married for 5 years. I always expected to have children, because you know that's the next logical step, but really never felt the PULL to have kids. So, we tried. And tried. And finally went to a specialist and found out I had a severe case of endometriosis and my tubes had become blocked. The only way to have children was through IVF, which we tried but were unsuccessful. Throughout all that I never allowed myself time to truly think about whether I wanted kids because I wanted them or because that was the societal expectation. It's taken me 2 years to become comfortable and accept the fact that I don't really want to raise a child. I enjoy a quiet home. I enjoy affording some luxuries now. I enjoy being a dog mom. I have 9 nieces and nephews and love them dearly, but I've realized I enjoy my life as is. That's not say that I don't sometimes second guess myself - because being surrounded by friends and co-workers all with babies it's tough to not think twice (which is why I decided to join this forum), but overall I think I've made the right choice for me. Good luck to you and whatever decision you come to. :D


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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:28 pm 
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Guest wrote:
Sorry if this has been posted before, I did find a similar topic but it didn't quite answer my question so here goes.

I'm 34 and so is my wife, I've spent my entire life expecting to have kids at some point but it was always 'in the future'. My wife says she never imagined having kids until she met me. Before we got married we talked about it and decided we were going to have children. We are now at the point where we had planned to start trying but both of us aren't actually sure we want to after all. I don't actually like kids that much, even my nephews who I love I find irritating, neither of us function well without sleep and we finally both just got a to a point in our careers where we are actually comfortable and we both love our life. We have an ok amount of free time and enough money to do what we want within reason.

We are trying to work out if deciding to live our life without children is the right thing for us but we are surrounded by friends who are having or have had kids. They of course all go on about how great but hard it is. I'd like to hear some opinions from people who made the opposite choice. Is there anything you regret? From reading the forum it seems like a lot of you never wanted children so you don't seem to have any regret. Is anyone in my position but a bit older? You expected to have them but when it came to it you decided it wasn't right for you? Do you regret that decision at all? How did you make the decision?

Thanks for your help.


we are MUCH happier without any and I like not being able to have any. I personally had chronic pain and other issues that made a urologist suggest several procedures that would relieve pain and made sure I was okay with being permanently sterile and I said I was.

I was listening to a brat screaming in a grocery store lane and felt sorry for his mother that she had to put up with someone that was completely out of control.


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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:51 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 3:37 pm
Posts: 1536
Location: In my own world
I must admit I'm daunted by the "requirements" of modern middle
class motherhood, carrying the baby everywhere on a sling, breast-
feeding it waaay longer than one should, cosleeping (hell!) and that
most grueling new invention "attachment parenting". No thanks.
Those helicopter parents have the mindset "my kids always comes
first" SO you see them at fine restaurants, bars, PG rated movies,
etc.. I just don't want to be like those people. In the past, people
used to be more practical and laid back, but common sense and
perspective went AWOL. Not to mention how much it'd suck to be
my partner if I had that mindset.


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