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Unread postPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 6:36 pm 
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All of my close friends have children and I too have witnessed their metamorphosis from dynamic conversationalists to, let's say, less vibrant versions of themselves. But you know what, I get it. I understand why they talk about their children so much. It's a big freakin' deal to them, as it should.

What parents don't realize is that their story about Johnny or Jane's recent adventure at the soccer field isn't a new story. Sure it may be interesting that Johnny was trying to kick a bee but missed, instead kicking the coach right in the baby-maker. That's funny actually. But every kid kicks their coach in the baby-maker. (Seriously, eight kids in my life: they all play soccer and not one of them has a coach with two intact testicles.) Likewise, every kid got in an A in class. Every kid is in the 95th percentile of being awesome at something.

Parents think Johnny is special. Johnny ain't special. No kid is special at 8 years old. They're all essentially the same.

If it was that easy to be special, to make a real, noteworthy difference in this world; one worth blathering on about, we wouldn't need middle school, or high school. We'd graduate 3rd grade with a degree in Scissor Kicks to the Nards and go on to make millions in the INKL (Int'l Nard Kicking League).

Anyway, I digress. Despite the tone of this post, I love my friends and I actually love their kids. Like, truly love them. They're cool little people and it has been cool to see them develop their own personalities. I just hope that when they grow up, I'll get my friends back, cause right now I'm friends with Johnny's parents.


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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2016 5:49 am 
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Even though me and my friends are in our early 30s now I currently only have two close friends with children. Luckily they live about 150-200 miles from me so I only see them about once or twice a year now.

One of those friends was my best friend 10-12 years ago when we were at university together. It's funny as I remember us having a conversation when we were 20 years old, discussing where we'd like to be ten years from then, specifically in the year 2015. My friend said to me "I'd love to be married with kids" and I remember saying to her "don't you want to do anything else?!" (I wondered why she was at university at all). She looked at me like I was mad, wondering why I didn't have the same ambition...

Said friend now has a husband and a baby. I'm blissfully childfree so at least we achieved our goals :) . I used to see her a good 4-5 times a year but to be honest my relationship with her changed as soon as she got engaged and then married. She's one of these people where her hubby is all she needs, and now she has her baby that's all her life is. She's a SAHM and now has met new friends who all have screaming kids and they spend their weekends at "1st birthday parties" drinking weak tea and eating cake and discussing nappy changes :sick: So on the rare occasion I do see her now, she has nothing else to talk about. Nothing at all. And then when I talk about my life - single living in the city, holidays abroad, business trips, adventures etc - I realise I no longer have anything in common with her apart from a shared past. Then the baby will cry again and the attention inevitably turns to the baby and we end up talking about him for the next half an hour. Of course, we can't do anything fun anymore, aside from have lunch out at a stretch.

The other friend of mine is an old school friend and has a 3 year old and a baby. The last time I visited her (I always have to go to her house of course) every time she tried to turn the conversation to me, the toddler would begin screaming and demanding attention so we had to play with her instead :roll:

Now I have another close married friend saying she's thinking of trying for a baby, even though IMO it would be a disaster for her, knowing her as well as I do. If it's what she really wants, then fine, I'll be happy for her, but on the other hand she keeps reeling off all these countries she wants to visit and things she wants to do, and I'm like "you won't be able to do that. Ever. Not until you're middle aged at least". Sigh.


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Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2016 10:20 am 
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When all my friends got pregnant at the same time (awful time in my life) I tried hard to be with them even if I felt like the odd one that don´t like children. I was with them at the playground (noisy), at there homes (noisy AND messy), restaurants (friend bring the kids to it and didn´t warn me before, noooo) and so on. I quickly felt like this was not my scene, the conversations where so slow and we got interrupt all the time. And the friend didn´t care at all (off course), she rather talk with her kid then with me. I had to remind her all the time what we were talking about because we lost the track so much. They all have the thing in common about "forgetting" me years after, just disappeared all together. I mean come on, I know it´s a busy life having children but completely disappear for YEARS not even a text-message either.... that´s simple just bad behaviour but I guess they just enjoy the company with other parents, I get that.

I also got the horrible feeling like this moma-friends saw me as a adult teenager that never got my act together, I didn´t like that image. So what ? I have no children and are a bit "childish" in my way of coping in life, but that´s me, I always been that but the kids are new to ME.


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Unread postPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 8:47 am 
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Yellow Moon, This is how I chose to read your post:

Yellow Moon wrote:
I'm blissfully childfree so at least we achieved our goals :) ... She now has met new friends who all spend their weekends drinking and eating cake. I talk about my life - single living in the city, holidays abroad, business trips, adventures etc. Of course, we do anything fun.

The other friend of mine is an old school friend. The last time I visited her every time she tried to turn the conversation to me.

Now I have another close married friend. I'll be happy for her, she keeps reeling off all these countries she wants to visit and things she wants to do. Sigh.


:lol:

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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:45 am 
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I'm in the time of my life right now (34yrs old) where ALL of my close friends are popping out babies left and right. In total, they have 7 babies ranging from 0-2 years old. 7 different friends! I'm really happy for them since they seem really happy but I long for coversations other than pregnancy, breastmilk, and brands of breast pump. I usually end up walking away and conversing with the husbands. At least they talk about something else. I'm married and very much happy but I've got this sinking feeling that this is the start of us(friends) drifting apart. I don't mind their kids, they are cute but our usual dinner dates became quick lunches and its become few and far in between.

I guess such is life. So I'll just enjoy my life with he husband and hope that after all this baby phase, I can spend more time with them. If not.. well.


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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 9:17 am 
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I still have a friend without kids but only for the next 3 months. :?
In my case it was difficult to keep in contact with the friends with kids, because most of the time they are not available and if they are they spend the time talking about their kids. The subjects are very interesting,: the price of diapers, the amount of diapers they use, the experience of letting the diapers, ….When the diaper subject finish it comes the how difficult is to be a parent episode, clamming about the lack of time , the responsibility to educate the kids , the non-flexible jobs for parents,… Usually, finish with the sentence: All the sacrifice is rewarded when I look at her/him.


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Unread postPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:30 am 
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I've had friends who dropped out of my life because they had kids. I met many friends through hiking clubs because I'm a hiking enthusiast. But eventually, some of my friends ended up having kids. They'd say things like "I'll make sure my spouse and I take turns taking care of the kid, or let the inlaws look after him, so I can still come and hike." But no.

I recently stayed with a long-time friend who moved to another country, got married and had a kid. Even though they have a domestic helper who comes in daily for 8 hours to clean up and help look after the kid (a toddler), they still don't seem to have time to do anything not kid-related. And when it came to getting ready for an outing, my friend would say "We're leaving at 9 in the morning, so be ready" but we wouldn't actually leave until 2 pm. The parents would ask each other, "Should we bring this? Should we bring that?" You'd think that after 2 years they'd have the "going out" routine down pat. But no.

After 6 days, I left thanking the stars above I don't have a kid. In most respects the visit was enjoyable, and we remain great friends, but I saw first hand how disruptive having a kid is to one's life.


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Unread postPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2017 4:20 am 
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I was wondering, of all you people remaining friends with new parents, are there differences between the mother and father? That is, if you're friends with a new father, do you have a different relationship than with a friend who has become a mother?

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