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Unread postPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 6:13 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2017 11:33 am
Posts: 15
My hubby has a friend who had a baby a year ago now.
Of course we visited, had dinner with them and showed some interest in the baby. But frankly put, I didn't like those visits. That friend we had known was gone and was only speaking about and with his (at this time a few month old) baby. What bothered me pretty much, too, was that the friend then spoke to us and wanted of course that I'll pop out babies soon. I couldn't even SMILE at that kid or give him a toy - the friend took this as evidence that I want secretely kids, too :roll: . And he seemed to see his wife now only as mother/ cook/ milk cow and not so much anymore as his ... well ... wife.

Concerning the mother of the baby ... I actually really liked her. She was an interesting, kind, sweet woman who talked with me about politics, books, certain TV-Shows she liked and about places she travelled. And she did this, while she was feeding her baby and stuff. She was a mother, but her personality was still pretty much there. She was herself bored if she had to talk nonstop about the baby and she even managed to be - in my eyes - rightfully angered if relatives and friends asked her only about the wellbeing and the "interests" of the kid, but not her own. I can remember that one time while she was still pregnant und freaked out at those people who touched her and her belly and I was pretty happy that she did defend herself and her personal space.

Sadly the friend of my hubby ended the friendship with him, claiming that they can't be friends anymore, because he has now a family and is a father and that their interests and lifestyles don't match anymore. And I guess he didn't like it that I was very vocal about myself being CF and about pointing out, that their freedom will now be horribly limited - they are very young parents. Like, very, very young. I just hope that the woman is okay ...

At the moment, we don't have friends with children. Sounds mean, but after this disaster, I'm happy about it.

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"My goal is to try to get people into a state of generalized agnosticism, not agnosticism about God alone, but agnosticism about everything."

R.A. Wilson


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Unread postPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 3:09 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 4:43 pm
Posts: 45
One thing about the friend I mentioned earlier is that he didn't have his kid until he was 49, and before that he proudly lived the child-free life. (I still wonder if their kid was an accident.) Therefore, unlike much younger parents, he knows how annoying it is for child-free people to hear new parents drone on and on about their kids. So, mercifully, he talks about a lot of subjects besides those involving kids. This is in contrast to younger parents I have known, who talk about nothing but kids and kept urging me to have kids.


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Unread postPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 9:57 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 28, 2017 7:44 am
Posts: 4
Location: Balkans
For me hardest are children birthdays I have over 23 birthdays a year to attend from kids from friend and family and they are all in so called children playground/restaurants specialized in kids birthdays. I feel really odd there every one with kids talking about babies, diapers and etc I know since I am good leasterner I can talk about all of baby related topic (raising them up, toys, cartoons, preparing meals, health and etc) ..

But it is boring to me then I try to go and talk to man in other side of the room they are more interesting talking about work not about kids.

But in general it is boring and really really noisy and awkward since we are only ones without kids everywhere we go.

So we politely say we shall skip that type of gatherings and visit our friends at their home after birthdays but even then you can bearably talk since all is about kids.

So over last decade, I have lowered contact to most of them. I see them only few times a year.
Two of my friends that are were my besties in school and high-school and I patiently wait till their kids grow up I have not given up of them I shall be there when they have more time. But all the others I have mostly given up.

Now they are all impressed since their kids are cute and toddler but I have two friends who are older and which kids are teens and they have a lot of problems with them :-(

This year I have made a decision better one really good friend that understand you then over 10 with who you do not have close connection.....
I have best friend who is child free by her decision and she understand's me, we have many similar views on world and we work same job that is unusual to people here so it is one more thing that bonds us...

And few other just not so close friends also child free... and me and my husband, we have some mutual friends who got kids late so it seams they could understand us.


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