For the teen pregnancy and breeder issues society has? I was wondering what your thoughts are on this. Sometimes society makes it seem like having a child is just as wonderful as curing cancer. I have heard many people(online and in real life) claim that their children cured their depression and made their lives easier/better. I also notice that society tends to gloss over the financial, emotional and physical havoc that accompanies children. Thinking back to sex ed programs in school I attended, they simply say "don't have sex until you are married", and list the benefits of this method, and the benefits of having children while married. However few of these programs mentioned the downfalls of parenthood as a whole. In fact parenthood was still sugarcoated, while failing to realize that being married does not mean you are cut out to be a parent. These programs villified the childfree stance as "immature and , they said that "you have not lived until you have had children", "children spice up your relationship/make love stronger" and "children prove your love for each other". As a result many of my classmates said screw waiting/finances/evaluating if this decision is for me, and with little knowledge of birth control or the cost of a child, decided to breed to their hearts content(I am talking 23 year olds with 3-4 kids). Some are married some are not, but a common trait they share is that many struggle financially and their children are out of control. Granted I grew up in a small town where most people are settled with 2 kids by 25, so it might just be specific to the area.

I think it is very much sugarcoated. In my home country teenage girls who become pregnant and keep the baby primarily do it to have someone who unconditionally loves them and to be treated more as an adult. It's also the case that when one girl does it, others tend to follow in order to "stay in the club". They're totally unprepared for the effects on their bodies and the hardships that can follow - especially as the majority will be raising the child as a single parent.

Unconditional love? Not from a 4-year old who has just been denied an ice-cream, or a teenager who has been asked to clear up their room.

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Gib mir den Doughnut. Velociraptors love doughnuts.

I think it is. A long time ago, having children was more of a necessity - help with the farm, house, etc. And also, the world population wasn't as bloated as it is now, so even if there was a family with several children, it wasn't as noticed. Nowadays, however, with overpopulation and modern technology, having kids seems to be more of a cosmetic and vain thing to do, imo. The endless commercials on tv showing happy families, print ads cooing about how a baby is the best thing to happen in one's life, and the numerous things catered to kids, such as theme parks, restaurant deals, etc. basically brainwash many people to think that having kids is a great and necessary thing to do.

As far as teens go, it's definitely more appealing due to the Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant shows, but to me, it hasn't changed since I was a teen. Even then, I knew girls who couldn't wait to become pregnant!

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80% of success is showing up - Woody Allen

I think that a lot of kids have been conditioned to think that their children will be some kind of magical toy that are cute 100% of the time, never cry or have tantrums, never become petulant adolescents, don't cost any money, and will love you unconditionally forever and force your boyfriend of 1 week to do the same.

Hell, a lot of adults somehow think this is true too. It's freaking insane. I wish that society was more honest about the mental, physical, and financial costs of bearing and raising a child. But, no, if we don't trick/force people into having babies, the economy will collapse and humanity will go extinct! Or at least the caucasian race will, which would be even worse, somehow! It disgusts me.

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The Introvert's Motto: Life, liberty, and the pursuit of being left the fuck alone.

I don't know that it's the cause of teen pregnancy as many of the girls here who start early come from large families and have been helping raise kids since they were a child themselves. So in their case, there's little illusion that children are all happiness and sunshine. On the other hand, they're already doing it and this one would be theirs and then they're an adult ... but those are issues separate from how easy/hard childrearing is.

However in the suburbs I've no doubt that the lack of exposure to the daily tasks of childrearing contributes to some serious problems. I've seen too many parents have NO clue how to disciple or care for their children and who see nothing wrong with popping three out in five years ... only to discover a few years later just how overwhelmed they are. So many acquaintances think they're totally ready for children only to discover they're very much not. My own parents had no clue and in pictures and home movies it really shows. We have a video of my mother and toddler me at a park and it's unintentionally hysterical because my mother obviously has no idea what to do - like "holding at arm's length" no idea. While I appreciate the more free-range raising that gave me, it had some problems too - my father would get rage-y because we (gasp) acted like kids and he didn't know how to deal with it and, more importantly, didn't realize that he HAD to deal with it as a part of being a parent. It's like freaking out that there's something wrong with your cat because it uses your sofa as a scratching post. Sure, you stop it (as best as you can) but you don't flip like it's abnormal. In addition my parents unintentionally treat us like afterthoughts. For example, if we all go out to eat then the order is Mom's preference, Dad's preference. Oh, yeah, each of our children has some dietary restrictions. Can't remember what those are. I'm sure they'll find something. Which has led to them surprising me upon arrival back with a trip to an italian restaurant. I'm gluten intolerant. It wouldn't bother me if it were, say, my mother's birthday but it was supposed to be something special for me. A place I could eat even half the stuff would have been a bit more appreciated.

Cough. That turned into a rant, didn't it?

Well you hear about parenthood being "the most wonderful, fulfilling thing you can ever do with your life" ALL THE TIME. What they dont follow up with is once you have kids parenthood is also the ONLY thing you can ever do with your life, it completely stunts your experiences in every other area. People make it seem like having a puppy or a kitten, this adorable chubby thing thats yours to show off and dress up that toddles around and gets you lots of attention and gifts. They never make it seem like an utterly life consuming experience that you are chained to forever. When I hear girls my age talking about having a baby, 90% percent of the comments are about how excited they are to buy cute outfits and dress their babies up and take pictures. Thats all they think parenting is.

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We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence...on pain of liquidation.--George Bernard Shaw

Head Chef of the Velociraptor club

I honestly think that when some people say: "Parenting is the most meaningful experience I've ever had", they are being completely truthful. This is, however, because having a child greatly reduces the energy, time, and money which could have been directed towards other pursuits. So they never have the opportunity to discover anything more meaningful. This is especially true for the younger and teen parents.

Basically, they've eaten one slice of mediocre cake and declared it the best cake ever, without even trying other desserts available. Oh, and they've signed into an 18-year contract that obligates them to buy and eat a slice of the mediocre cake before every meal or snack.

...No, my analogies are not insane, and I resent your implications.

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The Introvert's Motto: Life, liberty, and the pursuit of being left the fuck alone.

Absolutely, positively 100+ percent YES. Parenting is marketed to people. And like all things marketed, the downsides are rarely, if ever, exposed.

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"Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself." - George Carlin

Don't burn your tongue on another man's soup - Old Italian saying

I've heard some talk in the UK about the Government intending on removing housing benefits for under 25s. It's long been a belief that young women breed themselves into social housing via the encouragment of parents and peers.
(I don't know if it's true or not, one of those things of which you'll never get a real assessment. Personally I believe it to be true).

So the thinking now is, 'you want kids, go ahead! I'm sure your mum and dad will be delighted at the fact they'll now have this extended family living under their roof, it'll be just peachy'....

I'm pleased to hear this if it's true, it may encourage parents to tell the truth about child rearing when they realised that their 16 year old Mimsy's bundle of joy will taking up residence with them.

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'I think that God, in creating Man, somewhat overestimated his ability'..Oscar Wilde

'Let it be awful, let it be wonderful, but let it be uncommon'.......

This, I have seen this happen on many occasions. Most of the people who do this see kids as "what you are supposed to do", and have no idea what type of resources go into raising children. Most of these people did not have any serious child-rearing experiences or chores, and as a result they think child rearing will be driving the kids to soccer practice and picking out cute clothes.



I also agree with this, many people who have kids in their teens or early twenties never really had a chance to pursue other hobbies, goals and activities without consideration for their children. As a result they view it as the "best thing ever" without having done much else.