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Unread postPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 2:51 pm 
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^^^ Imagine if one of the women he sleeps with gets knocked up by him..

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Unread postPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 3:26 pm 
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^^^ That's exactly what I worry about.

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"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to
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Unread postPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2014 7:39 am 
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My advice for the younger childfree? Don't worry about "regret". I'm 54 and I've never particularly wanted children, though I like them and possibly would have considered having them if I'd been in a stable relationship in my late 20's - 30's. A lot of the older people on this forum are people who dislike/hate kids and knew from when they were very young that they didn't want them, so of course they aren't likely to have regrets, but for somebody like me who thought that would probably be part of my life and wasn't horrified by the idea, it seems more likely I'd regret not having them. Do I? NOT AT ALL. I've gotten to do so many more fun and exciting things than my parent friends have and I haven't had to spend time with other annoying parents just because our kids are in activities together. I haven't had to watch the same movie 4,302,902 times because my kid wants to. Etc. etc. etc. No regret at all.

Other advice might be not to be too strident about your CF status. If somebody asks if you have/want kids, a breezy "That's not really for me" or "I don't think so" usually works better than an "UGH! Those horrible little creatures, why would I want to do THAT??" (particularly when you're talking to people who HAVE those horrible little creatures). Some may disagree with me here, but I feel like we still have to live in "the real world" and kids and parents are part of the real world and are likely to be our bosses, landlords, neighbors, customer service reps, and it's just easier on ME if I don't start out by purposefully alienating people who can make my life easier or more difficult, as they choose.


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Unread postPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2014 7:51 am 
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my main things would be

1) don't let anyone talk you out of it. Children actually deserve to be 100% wanted, so if you're not sure, don't
2) Don't let talk of regret worry you
3) remember there are 100s of other bingoes, about being with a partner, about what kind of work you should do, about what kind of life you should lead, what you "should" think about social and political issues. If you're bright enough to spot the CF ones, be sure to spot the 100s of others too.

but hey, that's applicable even to those who want children. "To thine own self be true" I think.

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Unread postPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2017 6:02 am 
My advice would be a Big Loud:

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF :!: :!: :!:


You do NOT owe someone else a child. Not your family. Not your inlaws. Not even your spouse. NEVER.

You do NOT have to argue with others to explain your choice.

You do NOT have to accept emotional blackmailing, berating, bullying or nagging because you're childfree.

Younger men and women: it's your body. It's your life. The choice is YOURS.


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