So here goes the short and sweet of it. I was dating this women for years that had two boys, they were 1 and 3 I think when I met here. Now I did tell her the very first date when she told me about the children that I had no interest in raising two young children. She replied, '' I'm not looking for a father for them I'm looking for a person to be with me.'' So I bought and we dated. Now I really can't say anything bad about her she is great, parenting wise....not so much. She was divorced and the father was in the kids lives so she wasn't some single mother that procreated with some guy or anything. Anyway she made al ot of money high six figures and boy were her kids spoiled! now the day I met the 3 yrold I said to myself and to her, you better get a handle on that kid now or he is going to be a problem. this kid was so entitled and demanding it was nothing I had ever seen in a child so young. example, he played with toy trains on the living room coffee table(which I disagree with) one day we were watching TV and I sat on the table for a sec to change to change the channel with the remote, not sitting on his trains just near them. This kid screamed, ''GET AWAY FROM TRAINS DON"T SIT ON MY TABLE!!!! His mother just said oh don't talk like that. I have a million examples but I'll only give you a few to get the idea. fast forward to when he is 5 yrs old. I had a key to her house and would go there after work sometimes and meet her when she came home. So I'm at her house and her mother, the kids grandmother drops him off at home. Now I'm in the kitchen and she doesn't come in she just drops him off and walks in the house. Now I have no he was getting dropped off. so he walks in and asks me '' where's my motma?, (he calls his grandmother ''motma'') Now ''Motma'' apparantly just dropped him off so why he was asking where she was I have no idea, So I say, I don't know? Because I had no idea he was even going to be or that she was the person that dropped him off, he just walk in from nowhere, but I guess and say didn't she just drop you off? He looks at me with that stupid look kids do when they have no idea what is going on. I go back to what I was doing (I think I was making dinner) this litter terd walks out of the house and walks dow the street looking for ''Motma''! So like 2 mins later his mother comes home and asks her the kid is I say he is upstairs I guess? So she can't find him goes nuts and in no time the entire neighborhood, police everyone is looking for this demon child. He is found by the police just next door at the neighbors. Kid tells the cops I told him to leave!!!! Cops question me and believe me then question the kid again, kid admits he lied and I never told him that. Inccident#2 He was at school one day at this time he is 6 years old. The teacher tells him to do something that he does not want to do. He tells the teacher he can't do what she asks because his mother beats him, now mind you his mother did not disepline this kid at all never physically, so he says she beats him and he's afraid to go home. So naturally the teacher has to report this to family services, Family services interviews me and the mom and the kid says I also beat him! Now the kid obviously isn't beaten , has no marks and there is no evidence of anything. family services takes the kids and they live with the father. So after a two month investigation myself and the mother are cleared of any wrong doing but during this time I have never seen someone so misriable. His mother is totally shattered as you could imagine but I supported her even through I was thinking RUN the entire time. the thing that stuck with me was the Family service worker told me, If I had lived with the mother things may have turned out diffrently,(In a bad way for me) but since I didn't live there they didn't see me as a real threat to the child. Incident#3 The kid is 7 now and his brother is 5, the 5 yr old is just like his brother was when he was 5 so improvement there. Anyone the mom has a dog and kids are playing on the floor in the dinning room, (Which again I don't agree, kids bedrooms are the only place kids should play, the rest of the house is for the adults). So the dog bumps him and he hits his head on the table. freaks out and goes to punch the dog, his mother restrains him as he is throwing punches in the air and screaming. So he carries on and won't stop yelling about the dog, so I say, ''Well go play in your room and close the door then the dog won't be able to bother you.'' He replies, '' I'm not talking to you!'' Yeah 7 years old, Anyway I ended this relationship and will never date another women with kids to many negative. Sorry for long winded novel but I had to give you the idea.
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:57 am Posts: 1316 Location: Salt Lake City, UT Area
This varies based on a lot of factors. I have dated people with kids (it is different to date a dad vs. a mom though) and have never had issues. I don't have to become a parent and my relationship with my SO's was never negatively impacted. It does get better once children become adults, though that is not always the case. Not are parents are breeders who treat their kids like Kings while treating SO's like garbage.
_________________ ~Sara "Selfishness is not living ones life at one chooses to live, but is asking others to live their lives as one chooses to live" Oscar Wilde
Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 3:37 pm Posts: 1470 Location: In my own world
there's something really awesome about dating a woman without kids. Unlike a mom, she's not being pulled in different directions, and you don't share her attention with anyone else (while in the house, at least). As well as all of the drama, you lose a lot of privacy since the kids are always there. Lucky you were not served with bills for expenses you did not incur in.
You know the thing that I hated the most? I would sleep over her house sometimes and when the 7YO was 3,4,5,6, he would always come into the room at all hours of the night, needing a drink or having to tell his mother something stupid. UGH!!!It used to drive me crazy, he finally stopped when he was 7 but then his brother who is two years younger would do it! I remember countless times we would be practicing making kids and the dam kid would be banging on the door! UGHHHHHHH terrible, I always told her I didn't know how she did it. I swear if that was my life I would be drunk daily.
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