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 Post subject: Re: Holiday comebacks
Unread postPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:29 pm 
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Location: Calgary, Canada
Iduna wrote:
I'm making a food baby right now.

Hahahaha, perfect! "and that's all I can handle"

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday comebacks
Unread postPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:15 pm 
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Location: New Hampshire
Loving the responses. Keep em coming. I might actually be disappointed if I don't get the inquiry this year.

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If the creator of the universe is opposed to birth control, then why does it work?


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday comebacks
Unread postPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 6:56 pm 
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Location: Ohio, US
Said in a slightly disturbed voice:

“I’m making one...at home... right now. All I need for it to be complete is a left leg...Hey, you’re not gonna eat that drumstick, are you?”

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live as one wishes to live: and unselfishness is letting other people's
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 Post subject: Re: Holiday comebacks
Unread postPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 9:18 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 20, 2011 8:19 am
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Location: NYC
"Are you pregnant yet?"
"Are you dead yet?"

"When do I get a grandchild?"
"I think Black Market Friday starts at 4 am tomorrow."

"What are you waiting for?"
"Guffman." [Followed by an impression of Corky St. Clair]


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday comebacks
Unread postPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 11:36 pm 
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I knew that there was something I'd forgotten!
That explains that extra $250,000,
Oh well, you know what they say "When your memory goes you can forget it!"

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WWTLD --- What Would Tyrion Lannister Do?


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday comebacks
Unread postPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 11:53 pm 
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Location: Southwest US
Fortunately, now that I'm 48 and in perimenopause, I about never get asked any silly questions. Though when I mentioned to a friend awhile back that I'd gone almost three months without a cycle, her first comment was 'Are you sure you're not pregnant?' :roll:

My brother is also CF and really he's one of the few relatives who is still in my life. One of my uncles is too and he's also CF. Old friends gave up asking me years ago. They know I will never change my mind.

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Resist much. Obey little. ~ Walt Whitman


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday comebacks
Unread postPosted: Wed Nov 15, 2017 11:47 am 
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Location: Catland
Back when DH and I were younger and still got the "do you have kids" question, he would respond, "GAWD no!" That pretty much ended the conversations.

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 Post subject: Re: Holiday comebacks
Unread postPosted: Wed Nov 15, 2017 9:10 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 12:01 am
Posts: 1967
"Oh, I already had one. I never could remember where I put it..."

"Thanks, I'm good." (dart eyes over to any kids in the room as you're saying this, especially if the kids are being loud, mean, annoying, smelly, etc)

"Thanks, but I'm vegetarian". (this one is especially good if the bingoer is trying to hand you their kid)

I don't really get bingo'd by my family. The only people I've gotten bingoed by are people who really don't know me at all...occasional co-workers, or friends of friends. And that's starting to die off, too. Maybe it's how I carry myself, or the social circles I've eased into in the past ten years or so. Dunno.


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday comebacks
Unread postPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 12:00 am 
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Location: Canada
"How much do you weigh? How much money do you make? Oh sorry, I thought we were asking personal questions! I'm just following your lead!"

"Well we had one, but we had to get rid of it. The cat was allergic".

"I'd love to have a baby, but my parole officer says I can't be within 100 feet of children".

Then of course there's always the classic "None of your damn business".


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 Post subject: Re: Holiday comebacks
Unread postPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 7:11 am 
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Location: Ohio, US
“Are you planning on getting pregnant anytime soon?”

“Why, are you offering?”

Depending on your sense of humor, deliver that line either with disgust or (my favorite), with lusty interest (especially effective if male questioner is a family member). :lol:

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"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to
live as one wishes to live: and unselfishness is letting other people's
lives alone, not interfering with them."
-- Oscar Wilde


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