Ugh. I am friends with a couple who desperately wanted kids. The wife had SIX miscarriages before having one that stuck. She was under 27 at the time with no other health problems. Then they found out the baby had severe birth defects in her heart and brain and wouldn't live 24 hours. There was also a lot of problems with the pregnancy including dangerous bleeding and doctors told them they should terminate since the mother was in life-threatening danger and the baby wouldn't live anyway. But they refused and she carried the baby to term. She almost bled to death giving birth to a baby who lived 5 hours. Then a year later she gets pregnant again. This one is born healthy but only after her twin dies in the early weeks of the pregnancy. In my mind this woman should not be having kids! Clearly her body is trying to tell her that! So now they have a 1 year old who is treated like a holy princess because of all the tragedy and drama leading up to her birth.
So what does the husband post on FB yesterday? That she's pregnant again! And only 6 weeks along. All of her miscarriages were later than that. It just seems so irresponsible to me to put yourself through another dangerous pregnancy when you already have a kid to care for! And of course everyone is over the moon congratulating them. Really? You don't remember the husband asking for thoughts and prayers for her to survive the night? You don't remember the funeral for the baby whose heart and brain were only half developed? To me this is not something to be happy about, it's more potential for another tragedy. I hope for their sake everything is fine, but there's no way I will congratulate them!
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2012 11:23 am Posts: 158 Location: England
How incredibly selfish and misguided. I can't help but bristle when I hear crap like this. They have a healthy little girl, they should be grateful and stop. What happens if this time the mother does bleed to death? Then it's husband and child left without a loved one, left to pick up the pieces and survive and pull through. I wish people like this couple would realise that the wisest option is to face up to the fact nature has different plans for their family and just bloody deal with it. They have a child, they should consider themselves lucky, there's plenty of childless people out there who can't have any at all.
It's like playing Russian roulette, all for what? For something they already have.
_________________ I will not be defined by my looks, education, wealth, job, sex, sexuality, sexual activity, relationship status or by what my uterus has or hasn't done.
I am going to sound like a bitch but that mother sounds like a person that would be better off leaving the gene pool permanently. I just can't believe that people would be so selfish to risk birthing a not fully developed child into the world so they can live and die in agony just so you can have a few hours worth of an Oxytocin boost. I'm completely disgusted. What will happen to her little girl if she dies? How despicable to risk leaving her child an orphan for her own selfish wishes.
_________________ You can own the Earth and still all you'll own is earth.
Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 4:53 pm Posts: 3772 Location: Boise, ID
I don't get how people who've been through so much tragedy and heartbreak just go off blithely doing it again and again and again. I wish doctors would be more forceful in explaining to ALL women that pregnancy and childbirth are not a breeze, that there are many complications that can result in serious injury or death - and show them statistics. Of all people, this friend of yours should know all of this! Yet to still get pregnant again . . . it's the height of irresponsibility.
_________________ "A woman has to live her life, or live to repent not having lived it." -- D. H. Lawrence
Some people feel strongly that they need to give their kid a sibling. I don't get why - being an only child can be a wonderful experience. But I think this mom is really being unfair to her existing child. Why not just appreciate the miracle of the child who lived and move on with life? Tempting fate can be a bad, bad move.
_________________ I'm the lead character in my life.
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 8:52 pm Posts: 3304 Location: Chicago, IL
I never understand people who do that - a high school acquaintance had 3 kids - the 2nd one died 3 days after she gave birth - and they have inherited congenital heart problems. The oldest was already in and out of the hospital with these problems. Why would anyone choose to keep having babies after they know that they pass on such health problems to their offspring? It's sad and selfish to me.
_________________ 80% of success is showing up - Woody Allen
Though I kind of get why she wouldn't terminate that deformed pregnancy. Probably hoping against hope that it'll miraculously work itself out somehow. Even with the chances of survival being very slim, it would probably be too heartbreaking to end it on purpose when it was a wanted pregnancy. Throw in a pinch of the woman having a deathwish. 'Cause if a woman can't give birth, she might as well die, right?
If the same sort of dangerous deformity happens again, I hope the moo will have some consideration for the fact that now she has a kid who needs a mother. Though since childbirth is deadly dangerous in the first place even for healthier women, deciding to have another pregnancy is already taking too much of a risk of leaving her kid motherless.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot post attachments in this forum