Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2009 6:32 pm Posts: 2794 Location: Catland
The fact that he keeps emailing you, unprompted by emails from you, to make excuses for his behavior speaks volumes. I love Bill Clinton but you had to be a fool if you actually believed him when he said, "I did not have sex. With that woman. Ms. Lewinsky."
_________________ Lactation Consultant and Assistant Kickball Coach of the "Cass is a horrible person...and she's also ugly!" club.
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 12:17 am Posts: 3444 Location: Ft Bragg, NC
Maura wrote:
I'd be wary of people like the (S)MIL lying to you about his presence in an attempt to get you in the same area so you can "reconcile". Is is possible to have yous DH scout out any events before you go in, or do you know other members in that family who you trust to tell you the truth?
I'd be wary of that too. Way too many times I have been surprised to find out that my MIL was attending an event despite the fact that everyone knows I will not go if she's going to be there. They never intended a reconciliation though. They just wanted to have us there so they "forgot" to mention it.
_________________ You know me, always like to savor that last shot before popping the heatsink.
Joined: Sat May 10, 2008 1:03 am Posts: 4539 Location: Knoxville, TN
Smother-in-law strikes me as just the type that would arrange a meeting for the purpose of forcing a reconciliation... that she can then take credit for. She and her junior versions are not to be trusted with event planning if you are considering attending.
_________________ I would have preferred to battle the valiant, but I guess you'll have to do.
I'm so glad that your husband is backing you, and that you got out of there immediately. BIL sounds like a potential rapist, so what if he raped somebody and scarred them for life, are they just supposed to "forgive" him?
I've gotten that forgiveness talk before from people who have put me through hell, but the interesting thing is, I have forgiven them, but am I going to put my hand on a hot burner after I've been burned? Hell no. It's just their pitiful way of twisting stuff around. You handled it a lot better than I would have.
I couldn't have said it better! This nasty motherfucker is just too creepy for words and I am glad that in addition to Rose standing up for herself, her husband is also 1000% behind her on this one (no pun intended!) because when you have been personally violated like this, nobody else has the right to tell you to "forgive and forget"! You have every right to be angry and to defend yourself. I would have whirled around and SLAPPED THE FUCK OUT OF HIM! He would have landed into the middle of December, about a week before the world is supposed to end!
_________________ "If this is progress, then please sign me up for recession." Varg Vikernes
Smother-in-law strikes me as just the type that would arrange a meeting for the purpose of forcing a reconciliation... that she can then take credit for. She and her junior versions are not to be trusted with event planning if you are considering attending.
She's not going to get the opportunity. I'm making sure to pin the blame for the whole falling-out on Redneck BIL, but the fact is, I'm going to use this dustup as an excuse to get out of visiting the whole clan as much as possible. BIL is by far the most objectionable, but this will get me out of having to associate with plenty of other nasty folk as well. So I'm cutting them all out, but just not telling them that I'm doing it.
I won't miss (S)MIL, nor will I shed any tears over my husband's two oldest sisters, who are so pious and churchy that they can sit right next to me at meals in stony silence, never contributing one word to civil conversation with The California Lib'ral Unbeliever, but all three criticize me something fierce to my husband when I'm not in the room. Seriously, these chicks can stand by and act like nothing's happening as Redneck BIL slams doors on me and showers me with verbal abuse, and then they'll get my husband alone and peck at me behind my back. "Why doesn't Rose ever take Communion at Mass? Why isn't Rose a practicing Catholic? Why doesn't Rose volunteer to help with Cousin So-and-So's children? Doesn't Rose WANT to be a Part of This Family?"
There's also paternal cousin who is basically the female version of Redneck BIL in both gluttony and abrasiveness, and the maternal cousins consist of two married couples of Uber-McBreedersons, each with two children who behave as though they were raised by wolves. Plus it's always assumed that because I have no children, I'm a pro-bono au pair available to be pressed into the service of said breeder cousins' children whenever the queenly moomies require it.
Dear (S)MIL's social acquaintances aren't much better -- she seems to socialize exclusively with equally churchy elderly matrons who think nothing of conducting impromptu audits of my gynecological health over drinks. "Are you still having trouble conceiving, honey?" Oh, the cross I have to bear in my brave Battle With Infertility(TM)!!! (More like, DH and I are both snipped, thanks.)
At this point I think I'll limit my contact with the in-laws to: "We'll get together if any of you are ever in L.A.!"
Given that most of them think that the entire state of California might as well be Sodom and Gommorah in their eyes, that oughta keep them out of my life for quite some time.
_________________ Because this body is a recreational area, not a manufacturing plant. Because my baby is a blue-eyed hunka burnin' Irish man-love, and he's all the baby I'll ever need. Because it's my life, and I don't want to.
Rose: I respect the fact that you have laid your cards on the table.
I strongly disagree with your conclusions, assertions and statements below, but will continue to remember your version is how you see it. However, I will take exception to the assertion that I was attempting to cop a feel. For you to suggest such is both insulting and degrading beyond understanding.
You are my brother’s wife and I respect and admire the relationship that you two have beyond what you apparently think or realize. I want nothing but happiness for the both of you so know this, on neither side of the memory line (mine or yours) is your assertion that I was coping a feel true or accurate and thus you can remove that element from your thinking in forming your opinion of me.
My apology was sincere and I reiterate the apology now. I will always respect you for being my brother’s wife and wish you nothing but the best.
[BIL Name]
Translation:
Dear Rose,
I did not do what you're accusing me of and you are mentally defective for even thinking it. How dare you tell anyone I did such a thing. I'm being forced to "apologize" to you, but I'm not actually sorry because I didn't do anything wrong. You batshit crazy loon.
[BIL name]
What an disgusting pig.
Honestly, I'm side eyeing the fact that your husband isn't cutting out BIL and SMIL along with you. His brother sexually assaulted his wife and his mother is supporting him. If that's not grounds for cutting them out of his life, I don't know what is.
Honestly, I'm side eyeing the fact that your husband isn't cutting out BIL and SMIL along with you. His brother sexually assaulted his wife and his mother is supporting him. If that's not grounds for cutting them out of his life, I don't know what is.
This! My husband would have a few things to say on top of cutting them out as well. But kudos to for holding your ground. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. Keep us updated!
_________________ "I don't like other people's children, I see no reason why I'd like my own any better." -Sherwood Montegue, "Little House on the Prairie"
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She and her junior versions are not to be trusted with event planning if you are considering attending.
