No, they weren't. A few I have no idea about... our relationships never reached a point where it came up or I could take an educated guess--and we were young. In my most serious relationship, though we broke up for other reasons, I knew that we were going to have to address the kids issue someday. I knew he wanted kids and I didn't. And he knew it, too. (Had religious disparities in there, too... loved each other but it was not going to work forever.) Another relationship we were engaged but didn't quite get around to that topic. Not sure why now. But we broke up a few months after he had a big religious moment... he went on to have at least three kids (I suspect more). One boyfriend already had two kids and knew he didn't want any more, but we broke up before his kids became very involved in his daily life.
But actual CF? Not until my (current) fiance. He never thought about it until me, but he's happy with the no kids idea.
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 2:39 am Posts: 1551 Location: Austin, TX
I dated a single mother once, which is what made me realize I was meant to be CF.
Hmm. Interesting. So you actually have some practical experience in being cast as a prospective father. What specifically about dating a single mom made you realize that parenthood was a no-go? Or was it everything? I've gone out on a couple of dates with single dads, but it was never anything serious (and I never met the kids, obviously).
_________________ “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live.”
Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 5:24 pm Posts: 2485 Location: In the 603!
My first husband pretended to be okay about being CF. But then he decided he had to have kids, and that is a big part of why we broke up. He has since remarried and has two kids now. I have also since remarried and am still CF.
Before my first husband, I was never with anyone long enough to worry about the CF issue. Also, I never dated any single dads, so I have no idea what that is like.
_________________ "If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it." -- Frank Zappa Life in the 603
Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 9:08 am Posts: 3706 Location: UK
I have no idea, the subject never came up. I was always pretty vocal about my dislike for kids, so anyone I was seeing knew very early on that I wasn't for kids (or marrying). Maybe it's a generational thing, but not one of the guys I dated or got into a long term relationship with even mentioned it.
Even a guy I was seeing for a lot of years (15ish) never mentioned it. It was only when we went our seperate ways and I asked him if he ever wanted to be married or had kids he said that he would have liked to, but he knew my views so there was no point in discussing it. He then said he was too old and set in his ways now (he was in his early 40's at the time) to consider having kids, he wouldn't want the hassle.
It was only at the breakup of this relationship and I started internet dating, that the whole bunfight about kids kicked off. By this time of course, most blokes had already had at least one marriage under their belt and associated spawn. We then got into the all to familar territory of finding a potential partner without the baggage....
I did 'test' my own prejudices by seeing a guy for a few years who had a kid.....and that panned out as tediously predictable as you'd expect.
_________________ 'I think that God, in creating Man, somewhat overestimated his ability'..Oscar Wilde
'Let it be awful, let it be wonderful, but let it be uncommon'.......
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 8:34 am Posts: 211 Location: Northamptonshire
I don't know if they were deliberately or consciously CF, but I know that a good proportion of the guys I've gone out with never had kids (and many never married or had long-term live-in relationships either). These are generally good looking, eligible blokes who are now mostly over 50, so if they had wanted kids, they wouldn't have had trouble finding someone to breed with, so it was either something they were deliberately avoiding or just didn't care enough to pursue.
So until DH I didn't deliberately seek out CF partners or even have "the talk" -- I wasn't looking for someone to marry and sprog with, and if someone was looking for that they probably could spot right away that it wasn't going to be me.
Sadly I've only knowingly met all of 2 other CF people in real life and they were married to each other. At the start of my last relationship I still hadn't truly thought about it as a choice and it was 'just what people did' / a few stages down the road. I didn't WANT them, I just hadn't really considered it, once I did stop to actually think about it though I realized not only that I didn't want them, but that I actively wanted NOT to have them. So my next romantic relationship is waiting for a CF person, it's an instant deal breaker and even a fence sitter probably wouldn't make it into the relationship stage with me - I need someone that KNOWS.
Pssssh I wish. My last boyfriend made it clear that anyone he marries MUST have at least 3 kids with him. My 1st boyfriend (who I was involved with on and off for nearly 10 years) was so INSANELY baby rabid I thought at any moment he could start foaming at the mouth. He had a pregnant fetish too and talked about how sexy I'd be pregnant and how we'd have sex all the time if I was pregnant the current guy I'm hanging out with I'm not sure, hasn't been long enough but I can probably guess his stance :-/ Either way I'm getting ESSURE as soon as they let me.
_________________ ''For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not, no explanation is possible.''
Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 10:42 am Posts: 1242 Location: Aridzona
I dated two women who were CF, but unfortunately, they didn't work out for many, many other reasons. There was one who desperately wanted kids way back then, but apparently now has absolutely no interest in them. There were also a few who seemed like "baby receptacles" from initial conversations, so I didn't have any interest in dating them. Ones 30s were definitely the "baby receptacle" years. Now I've moved onto the "single mother" years instead.
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