It is currently Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:31 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 51 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next
Author Message
Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 6:21 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed May 16, 2012 12:11 pm
Posts: 1384
Hehehehe... I filled the poll out twice... :D


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 7:46 pm 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:33 am
Posts: 7149
Location: North Texas
I took the poll. The only question I did not like is the question about whether children bring you happiness. It did not give a choice of answers that represented how I would answer the question. So I chose unhappiness even though I know that for some that is not the case.

_________________
“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”
― Bill Cosby


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 9:17 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:23 pm
Posts: 2399
^ Yeah, that one tripped me up too. I did the same thing you did about it.


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 9:43 pm 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 11:53 am
Posts: 6267
Location: Ohio, US
^^^ That one, and the selfish one. I answered no, but I wanted an option that said, "Yes, but so is everything else, so it's a wash."


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 11:13 pm 
Offline
TCFL Sponsor
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 5:24 pm
Posts: 4309
Location: In the 603!
Yeah, I chose "unhappiness" on that one, too. If I did have kids, they'd probably make me unhappy.

_________________
"If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it." -- Frank Zappa
Eats in the 603


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 7:56 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 3:31 pm
Posts: 695
Location: New Hampshire
There's also this kind of spinoff article on CNN

http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/01/living/pa ... =allsearch

I don't entirely agree with her comparison to the struggles of an LGBT person, but I do like the article.

_________________
Periods: confusing and frightening men since the Old Testament.


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 8:45 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:30 am
Posts: 283
Location: NY
I found another article talking about the Time article and it mirrors my thoughts exactly.
http://theweek.com/article/index/247814 ... -free-life

Their main issue with the article was the omission of the male perspective. The article shows a couple on the cover, but speaks almost exclusively about women choosing not to have children. As a CF man, I want it to be known that we are involved in the decision to remain childfree and are not just sitting on the sideline ready and willing to go along with whatever our partner desires.

When my wife and I first began dating, we were both on the fence. I was the one who fell off and landing hard on the childfree side. It was through discussion about the issue together that got us to where we are today, a happily married childfree couple.

That being said, I am extremely happy to see this type of article on magazine covers and getting national news coverage. CNN did a segment about this yesterday and I found out that one of their anchors, Carol Costello is married and childfree. We still have a long way to go before the general public will accept our choice, but the more it is talked about the less stigmatized it will be.


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 9:02 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:30 am
Posts: 283
Location: NY
NoBaby wrote:
There's also this kind of spinoff article on CNN

http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/01/living/pa ... =allsearch

I don't entirely agree with her comparison to the struggles of an LGBT person, but I do like the article.


I personally think she did a good job of explaining the basis for her comparison. She clearly is not trying to equate the two...
Quote:
Although I know that I do not share the same predicament as gays and lesbians, I use the comparison to explain that I, too, am seeking acceptance in a world in which I often feel ostracized and out of place.


I think that people reading the article who are not CF need something this strong to understand how difficult it can be to openly admit to not wanting children. Bringing up the subject with my parents was extremely difficult and even now that my family and friends know my position, I still feel the need to hold certain things back on Facebook or in conversation for fear of offending friends of mine who are parents or being seen as a child hating freak of nature.


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 9:11 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 4:53 pm
Posts: 4090
Location: western us
Good point about the male perspective. Whenever I see anything in the media about childfreedom it's about women choosing not to have kids, or couples choosing not to. Never is the man addressed as his own entity. That needs to change, because the media makes out like the woman is the one who determines whether or not they have kids - and it should be a mutual decision.

I voted, too, and was a little surprised at some of the poll results. Maybe I'm too negative but I don't think that childed people really think we should be given compensatory time off and benefits to what they receive. I honestly believe that they see themselves as more worthy, and that we already have it "too easy" because we don't have to go home and take care of kids. Not all of them, of course, but the bitter ones who fell for the lies about how great it was going to be to have kids and work all the time. And we all know how often we're called selfish - the poll doesn't reflect that. By and large, I think we ARE seen as selfish.

_________________

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
― Mark Twain


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 9:36 am 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:25 am
Posts: 7763
Location: Calgary, Canada
paulb wrote:
...even now that my family and friends know my position, I still feel the need to hold certain things back on Facebook or in conversation for fear of offending friends of mine who are parents or being seen as a child hating freak of nature.

I agree. I have a few parent friends on FB, and even though they're a pretty chill group (they wouldn't be friends if they weren't), I certainly censor what I put on there. And when you're out at parties and dinners, and you say "no, I don't have kids", I always try to read the mood of the group to determine how I answer the question - whether I just say no and change the subject, or whether I can say something flippant. Nothing turns the mood ugly faster than some sancti-parent taking offence and picking a fight.

I'll have to go looking for this today, so I can read the whole thing.

_________________
"Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and make bad decisions."


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 51 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Arte, Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], viola324 and 11 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group