I am new to TCL but wanted to hopefully hear from some young CF people out there who managed to get a TL, Essure, or other permanent birth control done. I do not want to do something permanent yet, because I am still on the fence, but also need some help figuring out my current birth control situation.

I was on birth control for about 4 years, and suffered incredible mood swings and side effects even on different kinds. I also have known too many oops babies that happened because of hormonal BC, even with perfect usage. I went to the Dr. to find out about getting Paragard because I refuse to do hormones again, but she said my uterus is very much too small to insert. So here my husband and I are with condoms like we are 18 again (I am 23, he is 25), and a nonexistent sex life. We hardly ever have sex because I am TERRIFIED of having an accidental pregnancy now. Almost phobia-like. I don't believe in getting abortions whatsoever. I am miserable!

So long story short, has anyone been caught in this situation before and what did you do? I can't have hormones, I can't get an IUD, and I want to take at least a couple more years until I approach a doctor about sterilization, and even then they might all refuse me. My cycle is also impossible to track so the calendar method with condoms isn't even safe. AHHHH!!! *Tears hair out!!!***

Hmmm... I can't think of anything except condoms (male and female), cervical caps or diaphrams, and spermicide. Combinations of these methods would be pretty safe. Of course you could always get a second opinion from your another doc (or two) on IUDs. Hope you figure something else out!!

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"Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate." Monty Python, The Meaning of Life

You should try the fertility awareness method. It isn't the rhythm method, fertility awareness tracks cervical position, cervical mucus, and basal temp to tell when you're ovulating and when your infertile time is. I use that paired with condoms and non-procreative sex (anal, oral, frot, etc.) but I'm truly paranoid. Just fertility awareness and condoms paired should serve you as well if not better than hormonal BC because you cannot get pregnant after you've ovulated for the month. For 14 days after ovulation, you're effectively infertile.

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"There is nothing impossible to him who will try." - Alexander the Great

I agree with Remi - fertility awareness + condoms. Do some research before jumping to the "it's the rhythm method" conclusion. It's definitely not. Check out tcoyf.com and the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Wechler. I used to be near hysterics every month no matter how careful we were because of the possibility of something going wrong. But once I started fertility awareness and got comfortable with it I basically have no more worries about pregnancy ever. The reason for that is because I can look at my chart and see clearly that pregnancy is impossible due to the choices we make. Also, if you are okay using condoms for part of your cycle you can just incorporate them. I use condoms before the fertile time, abstain when I'm fertile, and go unprotected after ovulation. After you ovulate you're infertile for the rest of the month and pregnancy is impossible. I've been doing this for over 5 years without even a scare or a worry. It's extremely empowering!

You guys are THA BEST. Thanks so much for the basal suggestions! I will look into it and learn as much as i can about the method. Thanks again!

something else to consider is the sponge. There are 2 brands, the Today sponge, and Protectaid, Protectaid isn't available in the USA, but can be mail ordered from Canada. We used them for many years Today from when it was introduced, then when it became unavailable (due to manufacturing issues, not effectiveness problems) we switched to Portectaid (both mail ordered and "smuggled" from Canada). All I can say is we had 2 BC failures using a diaphragm (before sponges) and zero during our sponge years
http://www.todaysponge.com/
http://www.protectaid.ca/index.shtml

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WWTLD --- What Would Tyrion Lannister Do?

I had an IUD for 5 years and I never heard such a thing about a uterus being too small. I'm suspicious that that Dr. didn't want to give it to you because the IUD is generally not recommended for women who haven't had a child yet. Also, a Dr. who is pro-life probably would find reasons to dissuade you from it--I also had that happen once. I would definitely get a second opinion on the IUD as it's a great reliable method.

SO happy both me and my husband do not mind condoms.

I am very wary of condoms personally - they don't always do what you need them to, when you need them to! My own doctor advised against relying on them alone.

It may not be a popular idea for everyone, but there's more than one way to have a lovely time together than having PIV sex...

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Gib mir den Doughnut. Velociraptors love doughnuts.

I check my condoms for holes by running water through them after the fact - just in case.

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