It is currently Sat Feb 17, 2018 10:29 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 16 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 10:58 am 
Offline

Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2013 4:38 pm
Posts: 51
Location: Euless, TX
What would you do I'm my situation?

My husband believes he's infertile. He's hhad unprotected sex with several different women and has never had a scare. He also exhibits a lot of signs of male infertility /sterility, but has never been tested.

He thinks it would be a waste to get tested. I don't really want to be on birth control, but do not want to take risks either.
He works out of the country for the majority of the year, so its not a big deal at the moment.

Would you get on bc anyway?


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:40 am 
Offline

Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 2:49 pm
Posts: 637
Depends really on your level of comfort with the risk.

Me? I don't do well on hormonal birth control and don't believe it's healthy. If I had a situation like yours where the husband is away much of the year, I'd go with a barrier method such as condoms. The success rate with them is still very high and then you would not have to be on BC "all the time".

But everyone is different and that i just how I personally would handle it.

-Rowan


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 5:23 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2013 4:38 pm
Posts: 51
Location: Euless, TX
Rowan wrote:
If I had a situation like yours where the husband is away much of the year, I'd go with a barrier method such as condoms. The success rate with them is still very high and then you would not have to be on BC "all the time".

-Rowan


The hard thing with condoms is that he doesn't work well with them as in being able to hold erection which is part of why we think he's a sterile. It's just a weird situation.

He said he'd be "ffine" if we had am oops. But I wouldn't...


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 8:29 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jul 10, 2010 5:57 am
Posts: 4928
Location: Empire State of Mind
^Then I would do whatever I had to do, be it oral contraceptives all the way to sterilization, to ensure I didn't get pregnant. I'm sure plenty of people were not sterile, just lucky, until they became parents.

_________________
"Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself." - George Carlin

"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."- Victor J. Stenger


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 1:45 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:42 am
Posts: 263
Location: US
I too have known people who thought they were infertile or believed they couldn't have children, then OOPS! They ended up getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant.

There are a lot of conditions (e.g. PCOS for women, IDK about men) that make it more difficult to conceive, but don't prevent conception nearly as effectively as actual contraception does. If the average couple takes 1-2 years to conceive, you two might take 5-7 years to conceive. Is that degree of risk acceptable to you?

(It wouldn't be, to me, but it is up to your own risk evaluations and how acceptable you find the idea of pregnancy and abortion)

_________________
:)


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:48 am 
Offline

Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 8:34 am
Posts: 857
Location: Northamptonshire
I can't understand how he can see it would be a "waste" to get tested?
Seriously, men who expect women to pump themselves up with hormones, have things inserted, worry every month -- and he can't be bothered to wank into a cup?

There's not a lot of correlation between erectile dysfunction and sterility anyway, so that's a bit of a red herring. Basically, he's probably just embarrassed.

He's not the one facing an abortion if it turns out he's just sub-fertile, instead of sterile. You need to find out if he's got ZERO swimmers. It's unlikely that's the case, so how to proceed is up to you.


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:11 am 
Offline

Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 2:49 pm
Posts: 637
^
This.

He should get tested, I see no good excuses not to.

I happen to be intolerance to hormonal BC. So... don't want to wear a condom? Then it's not happening. I am with MissPiggy in the sense that I'm resentful that it always seems to be up to the woman to take care of this.

He can get snipped as well... to remove nearly all the risk.

-Rowan


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:22 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 5:07 am
Posts: 131
Location: UK
Maybe he IS infertile, but I agree he may be embarrassed to have it confirmed. There's still an old fashioned view that you are less of a man if you can't impregnate someone. I wouldn't be taking any chances though. The fact that he could live with an 'oops' shows he's not child free (what a little word for such a life changing disaster!).


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:21 pm 
Offline
Forums Admin
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 2:36 am
Posts: 10896
Location: San Diego, CA
xamra wrote:
There's still an old fashioned view that you are less of a man if you can't impregnate someone.

Some of us paid good money to be less of a man.

_________________
Straight up? Or with flair?


Top
 Profile  
 
Unread postPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 2:58 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2013 4:38 pm
Posts: 51
Location: Euless, TX
xamra wrote:
Maybe he IS infertile, but I agree he may be embarrassed to have it confirmed. There's still an old fashioned view that you are less of a man if you can't impregnate someone. I wouldn't be taking any chances though. The fact that he could live with an 'oops' shows he's not child free (what a little word for such a life changing disaster!).


I think you're right. Not only the old fashioned view is the problenm. He's from the arab culture as well. Not sure really how they view having kids where he's from.

You are all right though, I need to protect myself since he won't get t4sted. It would be stupid not to.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 16 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group