Here's another thing I LOVE about fertility awareness. I can look at my chart and see that pregnancy is not a possibility. Also, if it were to happen I would 100% know within 18 days of ovulation due to my temperature. 18+ days of raised temps after ovulation is more accurate in indicating pregnancy than any test you can buy. So I never have to worry about the "I didn't know" situation.
I used to be WAY more paranoid before I started using fertility awareness, but knowledge of what is happening in my body has provided TONS of peace of mind for the past 5 years.
This month is a great example - for some reason ovulation is way delayed - over a week later than usual. So that means my period will be way late. But I won't be worried because I'll be able to see when I do ovulate and then know my period will be 2 weeks later. Mo stress!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrhA0sEkuaM
Check out the above video, or google search Meet the Canada Party.

Yep, I am just as paranoid about pregnancy because of my severe tocophobia.
Which is why I finally decided to go off the pill and use the Mirena IUD instead. I got the IUD yesterday and it is such a relief to not have to worry about making a mistake and possibly ending up pregnant anymore!

I'm 25 now, and I've been on the pill for 8 years, and I have been worried every time I had sex. At first I just kept telling myself "You didn't make any mistakes, so you cannot be pregnant" and that helped to a point. A few years later though my tocophobia got so bad I actually took pregnancy tests every month and I got so worried about diarrhoea messing with my birth control I took two pills a day whenever I had to go to the bathroom after taking my pill (which is obviously not healthy, but I was so paranoid about getting pregnant I couldn't help but do that). The constant stress and worrying got so bad I finally decided to get the IUD, even though it was hard to convince my doctor because he believes only women who have had children should use it and that the IUD can trigger an infection which could leave me infertile (yeah, that would be the solution to all my problems, actually!). So I got the Mirena yesterday and even though insertion hurt pretty bad I can already say the relief and peace of mind definitely made it worth it for me.

I know there is still a pretty small chance you can get pregnant with Mirena but for me it makes a difference since it wouldn't be my fault then. My boyfriend is very supportive and told me he would be ok with me having an abortion but he is more on the fence than childfree and the thought of me making a mistake, getting pregnant and then aborting his child (that he might want to keep) just seemed devastating to me. If I got pregnant now, it wouldn't be my fault, it is out of my hands; and very often pregnancies that occur while using IUDs are ectopic pregnancies anyways so that would make an abortion somewhat easier for me. I know to some ladies here this may sound strange but that is just how I feel.

Haha - I totally do this too. Thought I was the only one!

I wake each day and thank god for my ancient worthless womb and egg free ovaries!

I've never been able to keep track of my ovulation. I can't feel it. Thus I am CONSTANTLY paranoid because I don't know when it's happening....only time I'm not freaking out inside is when I am having my shark week.

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"If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.­" - Florynce Kennedy

I can't feel it either. Very few women can, and even if they can, it's not a reliable form of birth control. The only way to confirm ovulation is through charting basal body temperatures, cervical fluid and cervical position. If you track all three of these consistently you absolutely can see when you ovulate. Then there are two weeks until your period when you are 100% infertile. I've been doing this for 5 years and it's awesome! I used to freak out before I started charting because I always thought you could get pregnant every time you had sex - now I know that's not at all true.

This month has been kind of crazy for me and I've been pretty sleep deprived. Because of that my ovulation is a full two weeks later than usual. In fact, if I was just keeping track of my periods I would have expected it last Sunday, but it turns out I haven't even ovulated yet. (Although from my other symptoms - fluid, etc, I'm expecting to see temps point to ovulation tomorrow). I can't imagine the hysterics I would be in if I didn't know ovulation was delayed and was just waiting for my period which will now be at least 2 weeks late.

It may help you to learn more about ovulation and how it works. It's been a HUGE source of peace of mind for me.

This is why I like to use the "double barrier" method of birth control: I on the pill (now IUD) and he using condoms (in my last relationship, if he didn't use a condom, he would pull out). I figure that way the chances for pregnancy are pretty low. And that is also why I never liked the idea of birth control that does away with periods. I need the monthly reassurance that "Yesss!...not pregnant this month either."

SO GLAD to find this thread!! I can totally relate so the things you guys are saying.

I'm REALLY paranoid too. One time, when my OH and I started dating and fooling around, he came on my tummy and I took a pregnancy test because I thought it might have been possible for the sperm to travel through my sweat and get in me. I'm not kidding. Lol.

Ever since then, we've double barrier'ed too. I'm on the pill and we use condoms or he pulls out. Around my period (on either side) he's not allowed in without a condom. If I've missed a pill by more than an hour and a half, the condom rule holds for a week.

Anyway I actually have a problem now. We've been together 11 years (married 7) and for the first time ever, he has requested that three times a year, he'd like to be able to come inside me. Now the guy's been a TROOPER thus far. Only mildly complains about condoms. He always sides with my peace of mind in favor of a better feeling. Now, I think he's kinda wanting the full sexual effect that so many others enjoy without paranoia (and I do everything in my power to maximize his enjoyment - I do almost anything for him except this). There have been 4 times EVER that he's come inside. Ever. Three times were in one day because I thought for SURE I was pregnant and went into a destructive cycle of "to hell with it then". I was 17 and not on the pill. Thank goodness I wasn't ovulating. My entire life could have been WAY different.

So I really don't know what I should do. Even if I was sterile, I'd fear of him coming inside. Honestly. All I can think about is the horror stories of spontaneous reversal etc. So pill and condom is about as "safe" to me as any method. That being said, I really want to please him and it's unfair that we have to use condoms which deaden his pleasure while not affecting mine just because I'm so paranoid about getting pregnant. I want to try to find a way to do this without risk and with total comfort.

So far, I'm kinda toying with the idea of an IUD and therapy. Therapy so I can deal with the feeling of him coming inside me without crying immediately after for fear of pregnancy. And IUD so at least I don't have to worry about missing a pill - because sperm can live inside you for a while, I could miss a pill a day or two later and end up pregnant (at least in my head). Also, my periods are shifting a little later on the pill and my sex drive is returning (hey didn't know I actually HAD one until it came back) so I fear I've been feeling the consequences of hormonal manipulation for a while without realizing it. My sex drive could be better with an IUD and more directed hormones.

It's hard to talk about this with anyone who isn't childfree because it's almost like everyone else in the world is ok with unwanted pregnancies to some degree. I am 100% NOT. Abortion is an option but one I don't want to ever have to deal with or rely on. What do you guys think? Have you ever had to deal with something like this?

ECC

I've never not used condoms (well there was this one time but we stopped almost immediately). My OH doesn't care either way, in fact he might prefer condoms (apparently it hurt without them? I don't know it was a very long time ago). He's getting the snip next month (hooray!) and we'll likely still use condoms after the all clear. I AM that paranoid.

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