That's actually so depressing I can't even begin to fathom it. The fact that there are people out there who really want their greatest achievement to be "failing to use birth control" makes my spleen* cry in infinite sadness. It also hurts my sanity. It's like summoning the Old Ones, I get the feeling that if I tried to understand I'd be left quite insane.

*I thought at first that my heart was crying but then I realized that it was coming from lower in my torso and my heart stopped caring about these people years ago, so it must have been my spleen. It was always over-emotional.

(Edited to grab the right quote)

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"There is nothing impossible to him who will try." - Alexander the Great

Me "I don't want to have children"

Bingoer "You'll change your mind"

Me "Maybe you will too and smoother your kids in their sleep!"

Me: I'm never having children.
Bingoer: You're too young to decide that!
Me: But I'm old enough to pop out a kid without a second thought?
Bingoer: *shuts up*

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I will follow the path I want, not the path everyone else wants.

Relative: "Do you guys still not want to have kids?"
DH: "We've been over this already. We're never having kids."
Relative: "Your relative so-and-so wasn't going to have kids either, but then he decided to have one."
Me: "Well, we all make mistakes."

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I have never even idly thought for a single passing second that it might make my life nicer to have a small, rude, incontinent person follow me around screaming and making me buy them stuff for the rest of my life.
-Tim Kreider

Putting up with OP's kids. "You were a child once"
- We were all spermatozoa once. Does not mean I want to be exposed to stranger's ejaculate.

Thank you so much for this one! I get this one all the time and have never known quite how to handle it!

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"Love is composed of one soul inhabiting two bodies."- Aristotle

The one and only SugarGliderFanatic

My mom tries that on me. "I never wanted kids, then I had you and your brother!"
We were both accidents, she would have never had kids by choice. How is that saying anything besides "be more careful with birth control!"?

Background: I'm really short, and I'm left-handed.

Bingoer: blah, blah, must have babbies nao!
Me: (trying to be polite) Oh, I am not really a baby person. (tries to switch topic to anything else)
Bingoer: Oh, I bet if you spent more time around my baby, it'll make you want to have one. You just need to spend more time around babies and parents and you will surely become a baby person.
Me: I've spent most of my life around tall right-handers, and yet I'm still short and left-handed.

Reply, "tonight for dinner with roasted potatoes and red wine!"

Love this. Fantastic!

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Gib mir den Doughnut. Velociraptors love doughnuts.