I just joined the group yesterday. I have known about it for years and have read through the posts on occasion but didn't started posting until now.
I'm a 30 year old graphic designer and artist in Canada. My wife and I chose to be child free before we even got married and it's a major cornerstone of our relationship. I don't really dislike children, I just don't get that warm and fuzzy feeling when I see a baby or child. To me, that seems like an innate part of myself telling me that I'm not meant to be a father. But I do get that feeling when I see a cat and almost all animals; so I am a father to my two cats, we even celebrate father's and mother's day.
I don't know if it makes me selfish but I would rather live my life for myself and share it with my wife. Being a child free guy, I get the "what about passing on your family name?" which I usually respond that I have a very common last name and there is no fear of it disappearing from the history books. If I want to leave a legacy, I will donate a bunch of money to get a plaque in a park I don't need a child to carry on what I'm not able to accomplish.
I'm looking forward to getting to know people on this forum and hearing other people's stories. Sometimes it feels like a pretty lonely path to take and I'm glad there is support for us as well!
_________________ ·························································································································································· "If I wanted to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat"
I'm 30, rapidly approaching 31, happily single and childfree.
I get crap from my Mom since I'm depriving her of grandchildren. Her family has 8 million and 12 ill mannered children, I need to join in.
My dad on the other hand has a sign up at work "My beloved grandchildren meow." He is fine with me being sterilized and figures if I want kids eventually, I can adopt.
I fully admit, I'm selfish. I like being able to get a call and head to a concert with no planning. I like having ice cream for dinner. I like having the spare bedroom as my closet. I like having nights out.
It's not that I hate children. I just don't like them until they are about 12. So I'm a Big Sister. Fun of getting to do kid stuff, no real responsibilities like parenting.
So that's me.
_________________ I wreak enough havoc on my own, I don't need kids to help.
Hello Everyone, I joined this forum a few weeks ago, but this is my first post. I am so glad to have found this site as I sometimes feel like the only person in my social group who does not want kids. For many years I have struggled with my feelings toward becoming a mother, since I really didn't want to be one, yet I felt like I should want to - and that made me feel very conflicted. I had this idea in my head that if I didnt want to be a mom, i was a horrible, bad person. I think a lot of this has to do with how our society tries to program us to follow a "life script".
I felt deeply troubled when nearly all of my close friends got pregnant and had babies all at the same time. This really made me feel like I was a freak for not wanting what everyone else wanted and it forced me to take an honest look at the issue. Over the past year or so I have done a lot of reading on this topic and now I can honestly say I feel very at peace with my decision to live my life on my own terms and I have finally accepted myself for who I am. One thing that really helped me was starting my own blog http://www.childfreelifecoach.com, where I write about issues that childfree by choice women face. But also reading similar blogs and forums on this topic has really made me realize that I am not alone!!!
I am a single fellow dangerously close to the precipice of 40 at 39 years of age. I live in Montana, where I grew up. I recently moved back to my home state from Hawaii (well, five years ago but it seems like yesterday). I enjoy mountain biking with my two dingos (rat terriers, they want to rule to world). It's nice to find a forum of this nature, I guess I kind of always thought that I was the only one out there that wasn't interested in having kids. I hope to get to know people here as time goes by! TheDukeAbides
_________________ There must be some kind of way out of here, said the joker to the thief....
Hi everyone I joined TCFL a few days ago and have already submited replies to some of the threads. I think it's about time to introduce myself properly. I live in Germany, am 30 years old and study English and German linguistics and literature while working as an English teacher and translator on the side.
I'm not 100% sure yet wether I will be childfree all my life but the older I get, the more I lean towards "Motherhood? Thanks, not for me" (some sort of weird reverse biological clock effect). Nevertheless I think about children a lot, in a repulsed kind of way, which may be due to the fact that my outer circle of friends have started reproducing and I'm afraid it's just a matter of time until my inner circle of friends will be affected as well. In addition to that my dad and grandma have become kinda pushy on that issue.
I don't have anything against kids, in fact I'm the first to defend them when they're treated unfairly. I remeber vividly what it's like to be a kid and I think I have a better understanding of childhood than most parents have. However romaticizing anything that has to do with children or parenthood unnerves me like nothing else, especially the assumption that being a parent is a selfless act, when in reality it's anything but. It's nothing more than a biological act that can have a good outcome, but also a bad one. I know several people (including myself) who have been more or less scarred by bad parenting and also people who are just as scarred by being parents. Then of course there's also the fact that there's a double standard when it comes to mothers and fatehrs. Fathers, as involved as they might be, always seem to keep a respectful distance to their children, and the more they're involved in childcare the more they are praised as loving and caring, whereas it takes very little for a mom to be labelled as a bad mother.
Last but not least I have severe tokophobia (I'm generally grossed out by any unvoluntary changes of my body, including menstruation etc). So should I ever decide I want to raise a child I would definetly adopt (which is something that I've already decided for myself when I was 14).
But wether I'll eventually have children someday or not, it's not a priority in my life and much less a necessity. So it's good to be part of this community and have a childfree haven where I can share all the things that I can hardly say anywhere else.
Last edited by Fem-mind on Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:16 am Posts: 103 Location: Texas
New here. I'm a 29 year old secondary teacher in Texas. I don't want children, but obviously being a teacher, I don't mind them (though young kids sort of freak me out save for my friends' and siblings' kids...I'm totally cool with them). I've had great students (and some not so great ones). I love my job, but I like going home and not having to worry about anything but my fur children. My parents are pretty accepting of the fact that I don't want kids. My siblings have kids, so my parents aren't missing out on being grandparents. I talked to my doctor about sterilization, but she said that no one will do it since I'm still considered too young (because I may change my mind, don't you know). It's rather frustrating. But anyway, I'm hoping to learn a bit here. It will definitely be nice to meet some like-minded people here since most of my friends either already have children, are pregnant, or planning on having children.
Hi there. I'm a 29-year-old Italian, currently unemployed (I fix computers as a side activity but I don't make quite enough for it to be considered a job).
I have a very independent and fairly hedonistic view of life that is completely incompatible with any possible idea of family (note: hedonism doesn't mean being an a-hole!). I also dislike children (I don't *hate* them, mind you, I just prefer them to be kept away from me), and anything involving childbirth creeps the hell out of me. Being that many of my acquaintances and friends are at the age when the typical human starts to get into unsavory ideas like marriage and spawning more of itself, I've been feeling increasingly uneasy around them and busily looking for people who are wired in a way more similar to mine. I've managed to find a few exceptions, but they are few and far in between; the best are those who don't go "what? are you sure?!" when I mention I'm about to get a vasectomy, but those are even fewer.
I'm glad to have found a place where pretty much everyone shares at least the basic point of living childfree.
_________________ No pleasure endures unseasoned by variety.
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2012 11:34 am Posts: 4 Location: Charleston, SC
I stumbled (no, not the button) across this website in search of others out there like me. I do like babies and toddlers, but I hate children - eh, today's children. I have no intentions of having them and I have felt this was since I was eleven years old. Everyone around me keeps telling me that I will change my mind, and to say that is actually an insult to me. It's as if to tell me that I don't know what I want, at, now, twenty-four years old. And I mean everyone. My parents, my boyfriend's mother, even my gynecologist is convinced that I will walk in her office one day and announce that I'm pregnant. And I guess being a professional nanny doesn't make the situation any better. I do know that I would be a great mother, and others do too, but the kind of lifestyle that I want to live and do live? There is just no place for children of my own. My boyfriend and I are open to having relationships within our relationship. I love my boyfriend, but I believe that you can love more than one person at a time. We are planning on being engaged by the end of this year and plan on having relationships within our marriage. A lot of people ask "If you guys are open, and you're not having kids (because THANK GOODNESS I've found someone who feels the same about children), then why get married in the first place?" As if a ring and a piece of paper changes the way we are completely. As if the words "I do" actually interpret into: "I give my body, my uterus, and my life to bearing your children." Uh, nope. We're celebrating our love just like the rest of married people, and just because we have more spice in our relationship, doesn't mean we can't get married, haha. Another big reason I don't want children is, honestly? I'm pretty selfish, more so with my income. I feel like when people have children, they don't really think about their income no longer being theirs. I'm an artist, and I'd rather spend $100 on art supplies that I want, then something a screaming brat needs. I have just started researching the possibilities of being sterilized, and I don't know THAT much yet, but I'm working on it. I read about it whenever I get the chance to. Enough about babies and children...
Like I said I'm 24, a professional nanny and an artist. I love to write, cook, read and bake. I love horror movies, special effects makeup, fashion and a lot more. I guess I would be considered pansexual, but I don't like labels so I just say "I like what I like." I have a guinea pig that looks like a panda bear and a buffalo mixed together. I don't wear pants, I hate wearing bras, my favorite color is bright green, I'm pretty laid back and I'm excited that I found TCFL. (:
Last edited by unicorndust on Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], shortarse and 8 guests
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot post attachments in this forum