Her reaction proves how right you were to do this. You especially don't want to do it for someone who has now clearly shown she was trying to manipulate you. I can't help but wonder what else your other siblings would have to say about this. Are they wondering whether they'll have to come up with another back-up parent too? How many kids were they all planning on dumping on you???
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2011 2:32 am Posts: 1041 Location: Canada
I'm so happy you have turned away from their drama and turned towards your own happiness and health - that wasn't meant to sound weirdly preachy! I just didn't want to say you were turning your back on them - since that makes it seem like you would be doing something negative, and you most certainly ARE NOT. I hope you can find a couple hours of blissful escape at the movie!
Your family doesn't deserve the generosity you've shown them.
_________________ "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Anais Nin
I have oodles of messages from the kin on my phone but have not called any of them back, as of yet. On one of the messages, my sister put the kids on and they're of course crying and asking "Why don't you wuv us anymo'?" with lots of "Wahhhhhh" in the background.
Biggest brother left a steamed message about being offended that I'd think he'd think of me only as a bank, and says he'd pay me back but, y'know, he has kids, and "If I loved them" I shouldn't want them to "go without, too." The inference here is still that I owe them something, and that I'm responsible somehow for my sister's dilemma.
????
So, a friend of mine posed a question to me regarding my situation and said "I wonder if your family would try to sue you for child support, or something? I wonder if they'd win? You don't have kids and have been keeping them propped up for a long time, now." I don't know that they would sue, but I'm certain to get more emotional blackmail attempts, shortly.
My siblings have all borrowed money, but I've never told them all that they all borrow money. I've kept everyone's business a secret, but in total, I've loaned out over $200,000 between them all, and that's just what I've kept track of. I'll never see a penny of it back, and I know that. That could have bought like 10 cars, or a small house! Think of all the vacations I could have taken, and places I could have visited? I'm so stupid. I'm glad that I was able to help them all out, but I did it while compromising our safety and comfort (my fiance, pets and me). I want to live somewhere safe, and we can totally afford it now that I'm not helping them out. The Fiance is being better about not lending money as well. We are prioritizing us and our future safety and comfort.
About the fiance, guys, I feel terrible. When I first told him what my sister was asking he was all for taking on those kids, all five of them, no second thoughts about it--of course we'd take them in. Where else would they go? The street? Foster care? They're family. Then, he found out that my sister and mother didn't trust him to live in the same house as the kids. I have never seen him more hurt. I am torn between telling my family what I really think (probably the most respectful track-maybe they'll see it my way and try to make up?) or just change my number and have no contact (spare them my wrath, and spare myself emotional conflict.) My fiance is done. He'll never speak to either of my mother or sister ever again.
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 4:07 pm Posts: 9269 Location: Oklahoma City, OK
This just keeps getting worse all the time. It's amazing that you still have anything to do with these people, family or not.
_________________ Rating: Awesome We found your keys, so if you want 'em, you better come and get 'em. WWWYKI There's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
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