Real life story of woman I've known since her teenage years:

She comes from a poor family, her father has never been present. She and her sister lived only on their mother's minimum wage until they were legally allowed to work. They were unable to study and started working very early, also earning minimum wage, like their mother.

Two years ago this woman moved in with a younger boyfriend who also makes minimum wage. By then she already made a bit more than that but still below average. A few months later she gets pregnant and has twins. From that moment on, her life turns into a permanent struggle for survival, only possible thanks to charity of friends and the local church.

One year after the children were born her relationship is over and the guy moves out. In her own words "the children take all of her time" and she finds it "normal that she and her boyfriend haven't had any sex for a year" but it's worth it because of the "wonders of parenthood".

Recently, I've heard that she is pregnant again. Apparently she had a "one time thing" with her ex, no birth control because she "wasn't in a relationship and wasn't expecting anything to happen". She wanted to abort but "was unable to because she only found out about her pregnancy after the legal abortion period" in this country (10 weeks).

She is now desperate, she stopped paying her rent "in order to be able to feed her children" and risks being thrown out of her home in the next few months.

This is a heartbreaking situation because I've known this person for a long time. On the other hand, I can't help thinking that she put herself in this situation and she has been terribly irresponsible, destroyed her own life and she will bring 3 children to a miserable life, probably much like the one she and her sister had. It seems to me she should have known better.

I'm sorry but 'Idiocracy' comes to mind.

_________________
"You're free to make your own choices but you're a prisioner of the consequences." Pablo Neruda

I'm convinced the parents who say things like that are delusional and this is why. You KNOW you can't afford children and yet, you're going to have them anyway. If she couldn't afford birth control (which I have a hard time believing), then she can abstain from sex until she can afford it. Not for life, just until she can afford it.


That is the thinking of an uneducated 13-year-old. You don't have to be in a relationship. If you have unprotected sex, then you are taking a huge risk. It really isn't that complicated to understand. She should have known better! She is 28, not 13!

_________________
I will follow the path I want, not the path everyone else wants.

What's really sad is that these kinds of women and these stories are a dime a dozen. It seems like every other girl on the street has no ambition, has 2 or 3 kids with 2 or 3 baby daddies, nonstop drama, not enough money, but always has funky fake nails, lol. This situation is more the norm than the so-called nuclear family. People are just fucking and making babies, no one's committed, no one cares about the best interest of the kids. It's just pathetic.

_________________
"A woman has to live her life, or live to repent not having lived it." -- D. H. Lawrence

Wildwench,

If I had a dime for every time I saw a mother in the welfare office with funky fake nails, I could afford a house by the time I'm 21.

_________________
I will follow the path I want, not the path everyone else wants.

My husband does legal aid work in a poor community and sees the same thing all the time. Many women drop out of school young and start having kids as teens. By the time they are late 20's they usually have 3-4 kids from different dads. Since he works for a government program, they have to keep statististics on the people they serve. Most of these women don't work and live off the child support. They often live with other family members - mother, sister, etc., that are also single mothers. He also says that most of them look years older than they actually are, if someone is 25, she looks to be more like

It is kind of sad. They are surrounded by so many people doing the same thing, so they don't have first-hand experience of people doing anything else with their lives. Most people are born and live their whole lives in that same area. Also, the schools in that area are really bad, so even if they manage to graduate, they will likely have a hard time finding anything but crappy minimum wage work. There is a lot of discrimination based on where you live here in the job market, so if an employer sees an address in that area on a job application, it goes to the bottom of the pile.

It's a vicious cycle that keeps repeating itself.

So, let me get this straight. She grew up in a home with a single mother on minimum wage with too many mouths to feed, and she goes ahead and thinks that it's just fine to bring new kids into the same bloody situation? And that it's a wonderful thing?

Ugh, she's just continuing this vicious cycle of poverty. I know she didn't have the best of chances, growing up as she did, but sometimes I just wish people would realize: "Hey, I went through this and it sucked! Maybe I should take measures to ensure that it doesn't happen to any kids that I may have."

I am sad now.

_________________
The Introvert's Motto: Life, liberty, and the pursuit of being left the fuck alone.

It's a sad story but that kind of thing happens all the time. It's amazing how many people out there just don't think.

_________________
Rating: Awesome
We found your keys, so if you want 'em, you better come and get 'em.
WWWYKI
There's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

The most morbid part of all this is that when you stick us as CF people next to someone like her, -we're- the ones who look less normal.

_________________

Can someone explain the thing with poor women and fake nails? I mean, I could afford that, but I have no interest. What's the big deal about it for low income women? I've never understood this.

Here you go: http://youtu.be/w4yGNa5_FG0

Societal pressure, etc.